Things I Wish 20-Year-Old Me Knew About Her Body, Mental Health, and More
June 9th, 2025
At 20, I was caught up in chasing a “perfect” body, wrestling with mental health, and strutting in peplum tops like it was peak fashion (2013, you were wild!). Now, as a licensed therapist leading Life in Bloom Therapy, a virtual therapy practice seeing clients in North Carolina, I’ve learned a few truths I wish I could share with my younger self. From body image to self-worth, these lessons apply whether you’re 20 or beyond. Here’s what I’d tell 20-year-old me—and what I share with clients in our virtual sessions—to live more freely.
Chasing a Smaller Body Isn’t “Self-Discipline"
I used to think squeezing into the smallest size was the ultimate self-control. Spoiler: It wasn’t. Diet culture convinced me that thinner equaled better, but all it did was dim my spark. As a therapist, I see this trap in clients—chasing an ideal that’s not about health but conformity. Research tells us this mindset steals mental energy.
True discipline? Nourishing your body, moving for joy, and quieting that inner critic. It’s choosing energy over exhaustion. In therapy at Life in Bloom, we help clients redefine “healthy” as feeling alive, not fitting a mold. Next time you’re tempted to obsess over size, ask: “Does this feel like freedom?” That’s the discipline worth chasing.
Your Body Is for Living, Not Just Looking Good
At 20, I thought my body’s job was to turn heads. Instagram’s early filters and magazine covers didn’t help. But your body is so much more—it’s your vehicle for laughing, dancing, and tackling life’s chaos. In my Morganton office and virtual sessions, I help clients see their body’s purpose beyond appearance.
Try body neutrality: Instead of “I look bad,” say, “My body got me through today.” List three things it did—like breathing, walking, or hugging someone. Psychology backs this shift—it reduces body shame. Your body isn’t here to be “conventionally attractive”; it’s here to carry you. At Life in Bloom Therapy, we work to make that mindset your default, so you live fully in the skin you’re in.
Your Body Is Your Ally, Not Your Enemy
I spent my 20s fighting my body—criticizing every “flaw” like it was the enemy. Now, I know it’s my lifelong teammate, doing its best every day. In therapy, I see clients stuck in this battle, and it’s exhausting. Your body isn’t against you; it’s rooting for you.
Start small: When you catch yourself judging your reflection, say, “Thanks, body, for showing up.” It’s simple but powerful. Over time, it builds a friendship. At Life in Bloom Therapy, we guide clients to treat their bodies with kindness, not conflict. That shift doesn’t just free you—it sets an example for everyone around you. Imagine the peace of knowing your body’s on your side.
Trends Fade, but Self-Love Stays
Oh, 2013—galaxy prints, stilettos, and bold brows ruled my nights out. I thought those trends defined me, but they’re long gone (thankfully!). Fashion, like society’s body standards, is fleeting. What lasts? Feeling at home in yourself. At Life in Bloom, we help clients choose comfort and confidence over chasing trends. Wear what feels like you, whether it’s sneakers or showing up to the club in your best business casual attire. Your worth isn’t in a dress size or a runway look—it’s in your spark. That’s the vibe that never goes out of style.
To Wrap it Up
If I could hug 20-year-old me, I’d say: “You’re enough, exactly as you are.” As a therapist at Life in Bloom Therapy, I share that message with clients in Morganton and clients all across North Carolina virtually. Ready to make peace with your body and mind? Book a session with me or my team HERE to start your journey.
